General
What is MamaCollective?
MamaCollective is a growing collection of curated, peer-facilitated gatherings that connect local mothers in deep and meaningful ways.
At the heart of MamaCollective are our 2-hour Discussions. Hosted in a private home, back yard, park or community center, Discussions are structured to create opportunity for introspection and connection.
Is MamaCollective just for moms of young children?
Not at all! Though founded in the throws of matrecense, and grown through the years with young children, the topics discussed at MamaCollective gatherings pertain to all stages of motherhood, and life in general. Mothers of children of all ages are welcome, and groups can form based on location and/or ages-and-stages to help mothers get the most of each discussion.
It is best to sign up for a discussion topic that is most pertinent to you!
Can any mom be a member and/or start a discussion group?
Absolutely! Just like each motherhood journey is unique, so is each discussion group. Interested in attending a MamaCollective Discussion, but there isn’t a group in your area? Start one! It’s easy and we’ll help you every step of the way. You’ll grow and thrive as a result, and you’ll be providing a valuable resource to mothers in your area. You can have a ‘closed’ group just for your network of friends, or you can open it up to any mom in your community needing support and validation. Working moms, Stay at Home moms, part time working, flexibly working - any and every mom is welcome.
What about dads?
While we value the role the dads and partners play in our lives and thriving families and communities, MamaCollective was founded to create a place for mothers to feel free to share and connect with other women going through, or have gone through, similar experiences. It is important that each mom feels safe to express her feelings, without judgement.
Is there a cost to attend a Discussion?
There is no cost to attend a Discussion. Think of it like a book club - everyone who attends is there because they recognize the value from participating. Though there may be fees associated with special workshops, events and corporate and institutional partnerships, there is no fee associated with attending a regular, local MamaCollective Discussion.
Is there a cost to host a group / facilitate a discussion?
No - there is no cost to host a group or facilitate a MamaCollective Discussion. We ask hosts to provide a comfortable and welcoming environment, and find that offering tea or coffee can help moms feel comfortable. But that doesn’t mean you have to pay for or provide food or beverages! You can suggest drinks be BYO or ask a local cafe if they would consider donating or offering you a discount.
About Hosting / Facilitating
What supplies do you need to run a MamaCollective?
An open heart
Paper (you can print our journal paper HERE) and pencil or pens (or have moms BYO journal and pen)
Books or clipboards to write on
It’s also helpful to have…
Tissues
Name tags
How do you meet moms to join?
There are many ways to meet moms, and we find the best way is to really put yourself out there in-person. See a mom at the playground or cafe with kids the same age? Start talking to her and get her number. We like to say something like, “I’m starting a local discussion group for moms and if you’re interested in learning more, I can send you more info.” Keep it light at first, sometimes it can be daunting when someone goes full force on you from the get go :) And it’s easier to digest the info on email or text later that night versus while chasing after kids.
Here are our favorite places to meet moms:
Family friendly cafes
Playgrounds and parks
Museums / Community Centers
Through daycares, preschools and elementary schools
Co-Working spaces
Asking local pediatrician if you can put up a flyer in the waiting room
Hyper-local Facebook groups for moms in your town
Template for What to Say to Moms to include:
Feel free to use these as a starting point and adjust/combine as you see fit.
Text Messaging:
“Hi Moms! I have recently met all of you and have really enjoyed talking with you all. I’m starting up a local discussion group for moms and will be hosting one on (topic) from __ to ___ am/pm. It will be at (location) with 6-8 moms. If you’re interested, I can email you more information. Just send me your email!”
“Hi Moms, I’m hosting a discussion on the topic of ______. It’s a two hour discussion that I facilitate. All you need to bring is a journal and pen! It’s a small group and I can take 6-8 moms. Here is the date and time: ______.”
Email:
Hi Moms,
I would love to have you all over (or meet at ____) for a discussion on the topic of: ______. It is a two hour discussion that allows time for journaling, sharing and discussion. You can find more information about it here: www.mamacollective.org.
This is a small group discussion with 6-8 moms and is not led by a therapist or psychologist, it is purely a mom-to-mom time where we listen, share and discuss the topic. It is magical and I hope you can join us!
What do you do if there’s a “conversation monopolizer?”
I scan the group for who is shifting in their seats, whose mouth is moving, who hasn’t talked recently - and I gently but FIRMLY say, “Alexa, I’d love to hear your thoughts….so and so hasn’t shared recently and let’s hear from her first.” I say it fast and quick, or a simple, “Alexa, hold that thought, I want to make sure we all are heard equally - let’s hear from so and so now…”
Conversation monopolizers don’t happen often, but they do come. It is also beneficial to have one at certain times - having someone “alpha” helps the group move along, it is almost better to have TWO alphas because then the ice is really broken and people start to jump in here and there. When I have a conversation monopolizer, I often urge the group to “Jump right in! It’s a lively discussion!”
Only once in my eight years of running groups have I had a conversation monopolizer that took up TOO much time. It wasn’t a good fit and we can talk more about that if you have a severe monopolizer.
It definitely takes a backbone when you have someone who talks a lot. Remember that they may feel nervous during the silence. So remind the entire group to sit in the silence and have all voices be as equally heard as possible. You could go around the circle again for a mini-share to help with this.
What do you do if someone brings up something very, very heavy?
Sit with it. Sit in the silence. Let others respond first. Acknowledge it. Validate it. Respond. And then…don’t let it become the next topic of discussion. Stay on board. Hold it, cherish it, and then gracefully ask, “Has anyone gone through something similar?” Engage and bring others back in.
Once, I had a mom share that her babysitter had a heart attack in the lake, and she found her…holding her while she was on the edge of death. She passed on. Their beloved babysitter in front of kids and family. We held space for this. I had a moment of silence - for the babysitter’s life, for the experience, for touching life and death in a moment. Then, we gracefully shifted…kindly and compassionately. “Has anyone shared an experience that has touched you like this relating to ____ (The topic at hand).” Think of yourself as a facilitator like a thread - your job is to tie everyone together. Don’t lose one piece. Thread everyone together like a strong and beautiful quilt. Not one patch is brighter than the other, even if something heavy is shared - everyone is there and a big part of the group.
What do I do during the “discussion” time?
The best discussions have been where I really sit back and listen. Where I lean into the “Sit in the Silence.” Where I nudge those who haven’t shared - where I ponder myself a deeper question, and I ask it and let things unfold. Sometimes I share a personal story that helps break more ice, and allows others to share. Or opinions! Be opinionated and passionate - but remember, the best discussions are ones where the facilitator listens more and guides everyone gently.
Are kids allowed? Babies?
Lap babies are welcome! Crawlers can be very distracting for the mom and the group. Having it in a contained room is better for crawlers. Nursing lap babies are ideal guests! If a baby cries, naturally the mother takes a moment to leave the group and calm them down.